More Than A Feeling

So anyone reading this who experienced a sibling leaving the house for the first time might know what I am talking about. My oldest brother, Abe, has already moved away, and I cried every night for nearly a week when he left. Which I think is kind of funny, because for the longest time, I seriously didn't like him. In fact, none of my siblings liked him when we were younger. He would get so mad, even over the dumbest things. Once, I tagged him 'too hard' and he ran after be until I locked myself in my room and stayed in there for over an hour. There would be other times where we would be running to the house "Abe's gonna kill me!" oh, what times those were. But then, he left to boot camp in South Carolina for the National Guard. And all of a sudden, my heart just shattered. I've only seen him a little while after that, and I miss him so much. I admit, he has matured greatly, but he is still my brother, and I love him dearly.

And then there's Erik. That lug of a boy has the body of a grown man, but still the childish manner of a 12-year-old. He is, how do you say, a smart alec wise guy sometimes, but others still, he's a six-year-old laughing all giddy like after he pranks someone really bad. He's leaving in a month to Texas for the Air Force Boot Camp. I am slightly happy that he is leaving 'temporarily', but only because that means I get his room. A room all my very own. I did have it before when Abe left, but then his girlfriend moved in. But at the same time, I feel ashamed for saying that. Yeah, leave already so I can have your room! Not what I really want. But, kids grow up. And I know that one day I will leave too. And I am so unprepared for that transition.

I don't think anyone is truly ready, until finally, it's time.